“Sometimes it takes years to really grasp what has happened to your life.” -Wilma Rudolph
It can be a hard pill to swallow when you realize that you are out of the forest, but not out of the woods. Life goes on and we live it out the best we can, exhausted often by the very act of being. Sometimes when you feel as though you have made progress you realize that you were actually just standing still; and the truth is that taking steps is easier than standing still.
It can be incredibly frustrating as I watch friends suffer through their growing pains; shit as I suffer through my own growing pains. I want a magic balm to help them through the pain, but I know that the only way to find redemption is to push right on through it. Life has taught me this well, and some lessons have taken longer to grasp than others. It’s kinda like trying to figure out Algebra (which incidentally I almost failed). It comes down to realizing that in life you have to work out the problems, you can’t just skip to the answers without doing the work.
When I find myself in these situations my usually patient self often checks out. Then comes the moment of self-reasoning. I have learned that patience really is a virtue and that time doesn’t heal all wounds, but it certainly helps dull the rough edges. Life doesn’t come with a manual, thank God because I probably wouldn’t read it anyway. We all have to follow our own path and figure out the best way to go about it for ourselves. It took me a lot of years to finally wake the hell up.
Then just like that you get that ‘Ah ha’ moment. You finally realize that the past is the past; and you can’t let it hold you hostage anymore. Life is for the living, and living is happening in the present moment. I can only lead by example and share what I have learned in an attempt to shine some light on the shadows. Bruce Springsteen’s mantra sounds off in my head, “No retreat baby, no surrender.” You gotta just live through it. If t takes years then so be it, just don’t you dare give up. One day you will understand, just hang on and keep doing the work.
xo Ella