Has anyone ever told you that you are allowed to be free of the chains that bind you?
You have a ticket to freedom and you may not even realize it. It comes at a cost though. You have to do the work. I assure you that if I didn’t do the work in myself I wouldn’t be here writing this post. Let me clarify something for you…the work I speak of is a process. It is a never-ending journey of self discovery and growth. I like to think of it as sweat equity in yourself. If you ask me there couldn’t be a more worthy cause.
Life has a way of knocking us down and kicking the shit out of us only to leave us battle-scarred and confused. So very often we find ourselves alone without anyone to understand or support us. Doubt sets in and we begin to question everything, including ourselves. I wish I knew everything that I know now back when I was in my teenage years. Life would have been so different for me. My load would be lighter and the baggage I carry around would be much smaller and way more stylish!
You gotta live it to know it though and there is no better teacher than our own mistakes. Perhaps that is why I have such a keen understanding of so many people. Listen, I come from a great family and that is no protection from what life can through at you. I have learned so much the hard way. I am honestly grateful for the knowledge that I have gained, but it came at a serious cost to my health at times. I like to say that it is in the past and I don’t live there anymore. Let me not go back. However, it’s not really that simple is it? We need to remember our past clearly so that we don’t fall prey again to bad situations. We need to remember so that we can help others navigate their way through their own lives.
There is a balance to be found in remembering and then letting go. History is studied throughout schools and Universities. If we want to be sure that we don’t repeat the past we need to study it. We need to know what led up to events and how we could have changed the outcome. The key is that you need to know some very certain truths: You are not your past. You are not what happened to you. You are stronger than your past. It is crucial to understand this and to know that in your desire to move forward you may have to take a step back first. What do I mean by this?
You need to do the work on yourself before you can move forward to lay new foundations. Otherwise you will have cracks.
It isn’t easy to stop in your tracks and look within after years of running. You may think it is easier to just keep moving. I know I did. For years I kept myself über busy. I was a workaholic burning the rope at both ends just so I didn’t have to come face to face with myself. Eventually, that rope burned out and I had no choice. I had to live my life in the moment and allow myself to feel things. In order to cope with the pain I was feeling I needed to seek knowledge and enlightenment. The big thing that I learned was that somethings cause us such immense pain and heartache and there is no way around it. We have to live through it and sit with the pain. There have been moments where I thought I would die. I felt that I literally couldn’t do it, but I did and the pain eventually passed. I emerged wiser.
It’s here that you learn to stop living in the past, but you can still recognize it. The chains have been broken, but you are beyond it. Here is the place where forgiveness is critical, and when you can work through that you will well be on your way. You will be wiser and emotionally lighter.
I often say that you have to do the work in order to heal and move on. Simply put, you need to feel to heal. Some people just can’t grasp this concept. I want you to know that if you are one of these people your time will most certainly come. You will one day arrive at a crossroads where you will need to stop running and face yourself and all the events that led you to that moment. When you get there embrace it as hard as it might be and don’t be scared. Freedom is near if you can stay the course.
xo Ella